Don't Grow Weary
Have you ever wondered when your time would come? You've been faithfully serving the Lord for years, fervently pursuing His will in your life. Somehow, things are not unfolding exactly the way you had planned. It seems like God has forgotten you.
I was sitting in church this morning next to my new husband of 1-1/2 months when I heard the voice of the Lord. Just the night before, I admitted to him that I was feeling a dark cloud descending upon me. I found myself crying sometimes at the drop of a hat. I felt a heaviness in my spirit wondering, "where is God?"
See, we found out less than a month into our marriage that my husband has metastatic cancer. With the busyness of doctors appointments to make, work to do, people to tell, and praying to do, I was OK for a little while. First we found out about the cancer and how radical surgery could be, then we found out that he would have to endure the awful chemotherapy and radiation treatments. Next, we found out that, because of the effects of treating cancer, we would probably never have children of our own. Finally, we got the dreaded prognosis that there is an 80% chance that, even with chemo and surgery, the cancer would come back somewhere in his body. I just couldn't take any more bad news. All of this information came within a matter of two weeks. There wasn't time to breathe.
After a while, things started sinking in and I could feel that I was headed for despair. I could feel my spirit sinking. I felt that hope was slipping away. My heart was broken. I remembered the scripture that says, "Hope deferred makes the heart sick" (Prov. 13:12). I had been obedient and faithful for so long to see my dreams fulfilled. Was this how it was all going to go down? Suddenly, while I was trying to listen to our pastor's message, God spoke to my heart.
First, He reminded me that He has a purpose for every trial. The Word tells us that trials produce patience in us and we are refined and perfected through them (Jas. 1:2-4). I guess I had to just realize that I reach out more to God through trials. If everything were operating perfectly in our lives, why would we need God?
Secondly, He assured me that He is with me through this trial. I am not forsaken. He knows the end from the beginning. He knew, before I was even born, that I would face this situation one day. His hand rests upon my life and gently guides me through each day. I can feel His presence, whether or not I like what is going on around me.
Thirdly, I am to continue to glorify God during this time. It is very easy to question God. I admit I had some not-so-spiritual conversations with Him. Yet, still I continue to go to church, seek Him through praise, and experience His comfort. There are times when I have to force myself to sing in church, but I find that the moment I humble myself and open my mouth, healing comes to my spirit. There's just something about praise that brings about restoration.
Fourthly, and most important, God revealed that He will restore what the enemy has taken. His Word says, "So I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten" (Joel 2:25). Friends, I cannot tell you how much the natural seems impossible. Will He heal my husband from this terrible disease and give him long life? Will we have time to enjoy the simple pleasures of life as a married couple? Will we ever have the chance to have children? I am 36 years old, and time is not on my side. Even if I could have or adopt children, would my husband be around to see them grow up?
I don't know how God will do it, but I believe His word. He WILL restore our lives and the years that have been consumed. We won't leave this world until we have fulfilled His purpose for each of our lives. So what now? The Word says, "But as for you, brethren, do not grow weary in doing good" (2 Thes. 3:13). It is very easy to want to just quit doing all the good things that seemed to bring you to this terrible point in life. However, as a believer, I have the secret weapon of a relationship with my heavenly Father who gives me the strength, courage, and wisdom to press on.
I mentioned earlier the verse about how hope deferred makes the heart sick. I truly have experienced heartsickness. The verse goes on to say, "But when the desire comes, it is a tree of life" (Prov. 13:12). There is HOPE that my desires will come to pass and I will be filled with life again. Finally, God said that He will be glorified if I remain faithful through this trial. Isn't that why we exist anyway? Our lives are not our own. We were purchased by the blood of the Lamb. Our primary reason for existence is to love the Father and glorify Him. How can I not be in His will if I succeed in doing these things? I must tell everyone how wonderful my Lord is. I must believe the truth of His Word. I must continue to praise and glorify my Creator no matter what. I don't know how this story will end, but I do know that God is in control and I will see His glory triumph.
If you are sick in body, or know someone who is, let my story be a testimony to you. There is hope in our Lord, Jesus Christ. Don't grow weary in doing the things you know are right. You WILL see the reward one day.
Prayer: Lord, my heart aches. I have no control over my situation. I surrender to Your will. I cling to You daily to get me through. I trust You. I will continue to magnify You. I know You are with me. May Your will be done and Your glory be known to all those who come into contact with me. Amen
Copyright 2007 From My Heart To Yours